This weeks study is about Four Kinds of Love, Really! Regardless of our race, status, and economics, we value love and recognize it as something that will shape what is good and true. I would like to think that Love, lies at the heart of the Biblical message. Our English word for Love is broad.
1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. Sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. used in direct address as a term of endearment or affection
I will further define the four different type of love in order to gain a more precise understanding. Two of these kinds of Love aren’t even in the Bible but they all have one thing in common, they are from the Greek language.
o Storge love, which does not appear in the Bible – is a familial love. A love that may exist between a parent towards their child.
o Eros, also not found in the Word of God, is a love primarily pertaining to sex. A physical love.
o Then on to Philia love, is mention in the word of God, and is defined as love pertaining to Friendship.
o And Last but not least Agape Love, selfless love, the love that Jehovah and Jesus has for us. Very Biblical.
Storge is family love, the bond among mothers, fathers, and sisters and brothers. This Greek term does not appear in the Bible. There are many examples of family love found in the Bible, Noah and his family, Jacob and his sons, Martha and Mary’s love for their brother Lazarus. We need this kind of love as we develop as sons and daughters. We express this kind of love through tender affection: a nurturing touch, intimate gazing, as seen in my family picture on my website as I gaze at my sister feeling the warmth of her love back to me, playful interaction and gentle words.
It can foster a stable family environment where children feel safe and are able to establish a secure attachment with their parent and other parental figures. If we are secure and affirmed initially in our lives it has been because of the quality and quantity of Storge love we received as a child. Storge love can begin in the womb and critical during the first five years of our life. It give us our value as children on the other hand, without this bond we may end up feeling insecure, alone, and not valued and can be replaced with fear. We can find in the Bible how many times in the letters that the words, Dearly Beloved are spoken. Other referencing Storge love in the Bible would be in Exodus 20:12 – 12“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. (The Fifth Commandment) Proverbs 13:24 24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. Not so warm and fuzzy but love.
Ephesians 5:21-25 – 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
Eros is the physical, sensual love, as with marriage to serve as an emotional and spiritual bond and for reproduction. In the classical world, erotic love was generally referred to as a kind of madness. When we think of this kind of love we think of our pagan holiday, Valentines Day where the arrows was said to be the image of the beautiful love object itself. These arrows were to arrive at the lover’s eyes; they would then travel to and pierce or wound his or her heart and overwhelm him or her with desire and longing of love. Sigmund Freud referred Eros love as strictly a sexual component of our life. It is the desire to create life. Eros is what most people mean when they announce that they are In Love… Eros Love is dependent on situations and circumstances.
As long as a couple is enjoying a romantic situation, Eros love can thrive, but as soon as hurtful words or actions appear, Eros love evaporates. It is held captive according to each person’s perception. It can quickly be squashed once he or she interprets a situation to be undesirable. Sad, but this kind of love can grow strong and then waste away based on ones perception. Eros love is romantic, pure emotions without the balance of logic, example, “Love at first sight,” and does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros love can cause us to think that we are on cloud nine but it cannot provide a reliable basis for building a deep and meaningful relationship.
Eros Love is totally human love, getting something for yourself. It poses as love for another but is actually love for oneself. It says, “I love you because you make me happy.” Its foundation is based on beauty, charm, warmth, kindness, or talent. Again, if taken away, there is nothing left and it dies. Eros love may give a little, but the motive is usually to get something in return for what it gives, and if it fails to get what it wants, it may turn to resentment, bitterness or hatred.
Unfortunately, many people choose a life partner on the basis of Eros love. Body chemistry will reach full potential rapidly, which causes the absence of genuine love. It was never love in the first place, and since neither partner is getting what they expected, both will want to call it quits, and another relationship disaster will be added to the pile. It is easy to fall into this pit since our culture is geared to convincing us that Eros is love and that being loved is more important than loving, and that being love depends on being attractive.
So we buy suits, dresses, hair, hair spray, toothpaste, mouthwash, makeup, deodorant, and other things to aid us in being more attractive, so someone will fall in love with us and make us happy. The highest percentage of all broken marriages is based on Eros Love. Love is more than sex, I know someone who told me that he thought love was sex and now that they are not able to perform the physical act of sex, love does not exist. No relationship built on the physical love along can last very long, for physical abilities are subject to change.
When this occurs, the relationship will begin to deteriorate rapidly unless an intimacy of spirit and soul has developed. Courtships and engagement periods should be established on communion of spirit and soul and then the physical union will be a crowning glory. Love can grow, but not automatically, it grows only when you cultivate it. Although Eros love stimulates and makes one cheerful or merry, it is not a Biblical word used for love. The only hope is for you to move on to a higher level of Love.
Something to think about on Valentine’s Day.
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